Archive for the ‘affliction’ Category

This one is for those who sing the praises of this world. Your reward is coming. You’re not going to like it.

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 16:25


mark hardy

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When you look out at the world, what do you see?

Do you see justice? Truth? Honesty?

Do you see equality of men? Does the world seem right to you, with everything in its rightful place?

What I see in this world is none of the above. All that is supposed to be, isn’t. I see a world that is upside down.

I see two general groups of “people.” I see naive people, and cunning people. I see honest people, and I see liars. I see victims, and I see perps. I see the living, and I see the walking dead.

The first group are many, the latter, few. I see men that are not trying to be anything other then who they simply are, and I see others that are putting on a great con game trying to appear more than what they are – more knowledgeable, more powerful, more deserving. More everything. But they’re not. They are lying.

I see a world of artifice, without remedy.

noun: artifice; plural noun: artifices
  1. clever or cunning devices or expedients, especially as used to trick or deceive others.

An artifice is basically an “act.” A fiction. A LIE.

You can tell who is playing an act in society by the presence of some form of uniform. Often titles are used as well. The legal system is full of actors. Cops, lawyers, judges, bailiffs – they are all wearing uniforms of some kind and are, essentially, acting.

Anyone who holds an office is an actor, acting in the capacity of that “office.” All offices are commercial in nature – corporate, in other words. All corporations are fictions, perfecting artifice.

All artificers are engaging in fraud.

Think about that.

Fraud consists of some deceitful practice or willful device, resorted to with intent to deprive another of his right, or in some manner to do him an injury. – thelawdictionary.org

If you put on a uniform, or take on an “office” as an agent of government – and then use that uniform or office to gain more rights or privileges than another outside of any office, you are engaging in fraud. Period. End of story.

The reason why is simple. Here is the structure of the living trust every natural man or woman is automatically and inseparably a part of upon birth:

grantor-trustee-beneficiaryGod, the Supreme Being and Creator, is the Grantor of all rights.

Natural people, men and women, are the Beneficiaries and Administrators of those rights.

The corporate state – government – is charged with executing the duties of and the protection of the living trust. They are employees. Nothing more.

All governments are corporations, and therefore, fictions. No corporate fiction has status above a natural man or woman. Never! I don’t care how much they lie.

The created is never above its creator. God created people, and people will never be above God. People created governments and corporate fictions, and those fictions will never be above people. Period.

Is that how the governments of the world currently act? Do they act like employees of the people? Like the servants they are supposed to be? It seems that they have forgotten their charge, their rightful place in this trust. And the reason why is a massive bombshell. Fasten your seat belts, it’s about to get real.

When Servants Become The Masters

The con has been deciphered, and the jig is up for those who would put themselves above others. It has worked incredibly well for a very long time, but we find ourselves here at the end of time, and now what has been done in the dark God is bringing into the light. Finally. Halleluiah!

The liars, the deceivers, the artificers, they do not have any beneficial part in the living trust shown above. That means that they have no Claim of Right to anything on this planet. The reason why is because inheritance is dependent upon descendance (descent from a particular ancestor).

Who was given dominion over the earth and all that is in it?

That’s right. Adam.

And in the Bible, descent is patrilineal – recorded through the father’s line. That means that dominion was given not only to Adam, but to all those who descended from him.

Anyone who’s familiar with my writing here on this blog knows that there is a lineage that is not of Adam. That lineage was fathered by Lucifer and his angels through Eve and other daughters of men, and it is an infamous line guilty of nefarious deeds and uncountable crimes. That is the lineage that has gained control over every government in the world, and the reason why is finally becoming crystal clear.

The reason why they need to put on an act, and lie through their teeth every time they open their mouths, is because of who their fathers were. To put it simply, since their father was not Adam, their inheritance is not from him. I can’t convey with words alone how profound this is.

Since their inheritance is not from Adam, they have no legal Claim of Right to anything on the earth. Not one blade of grass, nor one pinch of dirt. Nothing. That is why they had to steal it from us through artifice, and in that game they are undeniably the best.

They have no lawful Claim of Right to anything – and I am talking about original law here, natural law, the law of God, NOT men. The law that trumps all other laws.

Their mongrel lineage is a freak of nature and was never meant to be. Part human, part divine, demigods with no place in this world, half-breeds with demonic natures and no birthrights. Dead though they still live, because they will never have a place in God’s Kingdom. Parasitic vampires that must suck the blood of the living in order to survive, while fooling themselves into believing that they can make their own way without God, carving a kingdom for themselves out of emptiness:

These people are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm–shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted–twice dead.

Jude 1:12

They “eat with us,”  meaning they have blended in with us and share in our inheritance as though one of us, though they most certainly are not. They are “blemishes” upon the earth. Stains.

And their time in the sun is rapidly drawing to an end.


Now we get to the good part.

In legalese, remedy has a very distinct definition:

Remedy is the means by which the violation of a right is prevented, redressed, or compensated. – thelawdictionary

When people go into courts, they are looking for remedy. They have suffered a violation of some sort, and they are looking for the “cure.”

The sad truth of it is, though, that the opposite is often what happens. People go into courts and are themselves violated by the courts (and actors of the court). They go in seeking remedy, and are given poison in its place.

Commercial Law (UCC – or Uniform Commercial Code) is now the law of the land in all parts of the globe. All crimes are “commercial crimes” according to the Code of Federal Regulations (27 C.F.R. § 72.11). No code or statute ever conceived should have anything to do with a natural man or woman for those are commercial constructs and have only to do with corporations and agents thereof.

But they have tricked us and caught us up into their dragnet of commercial laws using, you guessed it, artifice!

They did it through the birth certificate – a financial instrument (I’m not explaining all the details here – read this or this for more explanation).  By means of trapping us into an adhesion contract, they duped us into becoming surety (that means “you pay”) for the fictional, corporate “strawman.” It was easy for them to do, because we are trusting, and the names are the same, only the fictional one is always in all capital letters. Hey, when you’re making the rules up as you go, you always tend to win. No one ever accused these liars of being stupid. Only evil.

They have no birthright on earth, so they invented a matrix of artificial corporations and commercial codes and statutes, and suckered us into that matrix through the invention of the birth certificate and the strawman that is attached to it. You have to hand it to them, really – it’s truly a stroke of evil genius.

Every law is supposed to include a remedy, but you can never trust a liar. Therefore, in the world’s system of corrupt courts and lawyers and law enforcers, there is no reliable remedy.

But our remedy does not come from this world. That is our blessed hope in Christ – the hope of Redemption.

Because remedy and redemption are interrelated terms, after all. Who knew that when Christ told his followers to “look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh,” he was referring to legal remedy? The restitution, the “buying back”  of our inheritance, our birthright. Why look up? Because Christ brings our remedy with him – it is not of this world, it comes from the Creator in heaven and will be imposed upon this world from above, glory Halleluiah!!

These half-breed hybrid mongrels are going to be getting their eviction notices very soon, and let me tell you, that will be the most eagerly awaited event in the history of creation. All the hosts of heaven, and me with them, will praise the Most High when he kicks these criminals out of their places of power with extreme prejudice.

Through their egregious, unjust and corrupt system of government they have subjugated us, the true heirs of God’s creation, stolen that role from us through violence, intimidation and deceit, and currently sit on the throne of power here on earth, while we have been relegated to a position of ultimate meekness, cowering before their threats. This is why scriptures say that the meek will inherit the earth – only the meek are the true and rightful heirs.

For the criminal elite, the halfbreed mongrel race, they will go where their fathers will go – to the dung heap of creation, otherwise known as hell, created for the devil and his angels, and hell will be their only inheritance, and their only useful function will be for their bodies to serve as fuel for the eternal fires of that terrible place. Make it so Lord, as you have written it. Amen.

Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.

Revelation 3:11

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Job It’s that time again – a time when for reasons mysterious and unsearchable, God is working on me.

Now, when someone says that God is working on them in their life, I always cringe, because what that means for me in my experience is that a whole lotta old fashioned, Old Testament pain and suffering are coming along for the ride.

If God is going to deal with you, chances are, he is going to humble you in the process. Nothing is more humbling than being shown how little control we have over what happens to us in life, and how little value we have if that value is self-created, not creator-given. In the modern vernacular, “You may think you’re ‘The Shit’, but you ain’t shit!” You’re nothing without God, and he will make this clear to you before he will lift you up – at least in my experience.

Scripture backs this up in many places:

“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” – Matthew 23:12

“Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.” Proverbs 29:23

“The LORD sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.” Proverbs 147:6

In other words, God will have nothing to do with the lofty in spirit – they are not his people. As he is humble, so will his people be.

This is an important distinction to make before one decides to become a Christian, because once you apply your Free Will and say “Take my life, Lord”, being humbled is one of the main works God will embark upon in your life. You will be humbled in so many ways.

Why is that so important?

First, because God is himself humble, as stated above. Second, because humility is required for compassion. If one is haughty and puffed up with pride, it’s next to impossible for compassion and empathy to gain a foothold in their life. They are untouched by suffering because they have little to none, and don’t much care about the suffering they see others experiencing, if they see it at all – which they probably don’t.

These are not things which need psychological studies to bear out – this is just plain common sense, something that is unfortunately becoming extinct these days. One simply needs a bit of life experience to appreciate how this Biblical wisdom rings true.

One needs to be humbled, sometimes repeatedly, before they understand the truth of the scriptures quoted above, for it is the arrogant that are blind to this truth, not the humbled. Most are born with a tendency towards pride, so that is a given in life. Humility is not. That is only earned through suffering and the patient hand of God.

When going through this humbling process, it can feel like God is just beating the crap out of us for no reason. And I’m sure we feel like that because we’re all innocent, right?

Wrong! Take Job. He thought he was an innocent victim in his sufferings, and that was the cause of his complaints. But he was shown by God that he had no right to complain – inferring that he was not above humility and the suffering that created it. Job was correct to not curse God, but where he erred was in his feelings of victimhood.

His real problems started when his own body was struck with sores, when he was ‘cut to the quick’ so to say. His response was to curse the day he was born. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been brought to that point more than once in my life. Oh Job, you are a brother to me!

“Let the day perish on which I was born, and the night that said, ‘A man is conceived.’ ” Let that day be darkness! May God above not seek it, nor light shine upon it. – Job 3, 3:4

Because of God, Job has become afflicted, and he doesn’t understand why.

Sometimes I wonder if God just picks someone out of the blue down here on planet Earth, and just starts to slap them around for no reason that is readily apparent (which is NOT to say there is no reason at all). Some poor soul like Job gets occasionally tapped to be made an example of, and everyone that knows them gets to be a witness. I believe it’s for the benefit or detriment of those witnesses that this happens.

Maybe God is simply fishing for his children – testing the waters for any flicker of compassion that may be there. As he is mopping the floor with this poor soul he has selected for abuse, he is looking around saying “Does anyone see this? Does anyone care?” If compassion exists, it will reveal itself, and those will be known as children of God. And where compassion doesn’t exist, it cannot be revealed because it doesn’t exist, and those will be known as the children of perdition.

Isn’t this exactly what God did to his own son?

Christ, entirely innocent of all accusations against him, was destroyed upon the cross, and God allowed it. Was part of the reason why the same as for Job – was he allowing his son to suffer and die a horrible death in total innocence so he could gauge in that moment the true quality of those alive at that time, and thereafter? When people would hear about the story of his son at later times, was part of what he was looking for simply a compassionate response?

Because, for me, I cannot understand the person who can hear that story and respond mockingly, or not at all. I just can’t – I think that person is not entirely human. I think they are a child of perdition.

And God will then, in that moment of testing, say to this person, ‘to my right – you are saved’, and to another, ‘to my left – you are accursed.’ They will have been sifted as wheat by this test of compassion, and the wheat will be saved, and the chaff cast off into the wind. And the chaff will probably have no idea they’ve been tested at all. Not until it is too late to be corrected. Not until their souls are being destroyed with extreme prejudice.

And what is to happen to all the Jobs of life? What is their fate? I’d like to think that special rewards are reserved for these pitiful ones, the ones chosen to serve an unfortunate but required task mostly for the benefit of the ones that would witness their cruel treatment by life. If God is fair – and I truly believe he is – then this will certainly be the case.

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This was re-posted here from a blog entitled Hermit’s Thatch. I was unable to find a link with which to ask permission before posting it here, but I hope that the author, Meng-hu, won’t mind me sharing it with a few more people. These are words that cut to the quick of the matter in a way that only the scriptures seem able to do. I guess that’s the mark of truth. May God have mercy on us all.


Thoughts of a homeless man

by Meng-hu

Fictional, but based on an actual conversation, with the interlocutor here speaking.

Homeless Man 1I’ve been homeless for ten years. I made some mistakes and I paid for them, but I lost all my friends, and my family refused to ever see me again. Jobs are scarce; I have no skills of value to anyone. But like Siddhartha in the Hesse novel, I can think, I can wait, I can fast. Many days I go hungry. But I have infinite patience. And I can think, but usually think myself into a self-righteous and ethical stalemate.

I decided to give up trying to make it, you know, to give up trying to be a square peg — or is it round? It was just too hard: trying to pay rent or a mortgage, trying to pay insurance and debts, trying to guess what pleases people.

I imagine average people would say that it is my fault, that I am dysfunctional. But wasn’t it Freud who said, “Who wants to be functional in a dysfunctional society?” Not just dysfunctional — modern society is basically sick. All the values are upside down. What is celebrated is greed, exploitation, violence. What is scorned is simplicity, nature, the slow, and the quiet.

homeless-man 2Being homeless, I know this firsthand. Homelessness is being criminalized. Simplicity is being criminalized. The Native people of this continent didn’t have property deeds and legal documents, so everything was stolen from them, and when they insisted that this was their home and that everybody had free access to the water, the land, the forest — well, they were pushed out of the way, or were killed outright.

Today it’s average people, the poor people. The simple people. And many just don’t see how they are being abused by society. Homeless people are society’s front line, the soldiers that were put on the front line to die first. The average people, the wage slaves that carry on, they don’t realize what society has done to them. They don’t resent or understand, they just admire those who abuse them. They want to be rich, and they think the next lotto ticket is their pass to that stairway to heaven. John Steinbeck, the writer, called them “embarrassed millionaires.” That’s what they are, still groveling for a chance to sit at the boardroom table.

Homeless_Man 3Of course, homeless people have a bad reputation. It’s true that many are alcoholics, addicts, mentally ill. They smell bad, wear ragged clothes, talk loudly to themselves. They scare me plenty of times when I’m out there. But that’s the difference: I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs. I have no behavior problems, travel with a clean kit, bathe and groom, and get clean thrift shop clothes when I need to. I stay in shelters and missions when I need to eat and rest, but I prefer being outdoors and on the road. I dumpster-dive for most food and sleep under the stars when I can, which is why I tend to stay in climates where there are beaches and woodlands. I don’t like to panhandle because then you immediately lose respect, and self-respect. I have money for small things because I will do odd jobs, though most people are suspicious of me. Many towns have centers where men gather waiting for a job. Once in a while I will get something, enough to keep me going, but I avoid groups. They can be dangerous to a peaceable person like me.

My health has been good. Maybe that’s because I eat very little, walk a lot, get fresh air. If I was religious I could be a wandering preacher. Jesus was a wandering preacher. Doesn’t the Gospel say that birds have their nests and foxes their dens but that he was homeless? Don’t people realize what that means, about God taking care of the flowers and birds? I think Jesus was homeless in every sense: no property, no relations, no friends or kin, no career. And that’s how he figured out everything, how he became wise. There isn’t any other path for a solitary.

homeless man 4You make no demands on life, if only because you aren’t around long enough to see the conclusion. Yet sometimes there is something that bubbles up inside of me, that you want to tell people, even shout to people, something like: “Don’t you know that you can be free? That if you could open up to everyone, you won’t need all this fear, this terror, insecurity. That all this control is a grand charade, a phantasmagoria to fool you into never going your own way, never daring to, never learning what life is all about. Isn’t that what Jesus might have said, and Buddha, and probably everybody else you would call wise?

So, you know, the town to where I am heading next is poor but has water and lots of trees. I’ve been there years ago. But every day is new. I feel like a deer or a bear or a turtle. Every day I have to find food, get some sleep, wash myself, protect myself. At least I don’t have anyone. It’s an odd blessing, though, or a curse of sorts: sometimes I get very lonely and wonder if it’s all wrong. Successful people don’t think that way, they just assume it’s all just right, just the way it should be, themselves, the world, the universe, it’s just dandy because they do what they want and nobody stops them, so therefore the universe favors the arrogant and the sociopath and the fittest. That’s the thinking of the mind serving the body and calling it success. But I don’t think like that. I think like the deer, and the bear, and the turtle. Life is tough but they are free.

It’s probably better not to think. Everything I know is from my intuition, my wits, my gut feeling. Not from thinking. Better not to think, really, because then what you know comes naturally, you come into knowing that is more natural instead of just assuming things because someone told you or because everybody else thinks that way, or because your life is ordered just so. In that way, my mind becomes very settled, very peaceful. It’s like finishing a journey that went well: you might remember and regret losing the good of it, but you are ready to finish and rest, satisfied weariness. That’s how I want to go, really, when that day catches up.

But no rest yet, no end yet. Say, I’d best be going on. Thanks for listening to me.

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The Ten Percent Factor


By Dave Hodges


Is it a waste of time to try and warn humanity about the satanic nature of the world’s leadership? Is humanity doomed? Is there no hope to overcome the endless attacks upon humanity by the globalists? Are we a nation under judgment? Should we just lie down and take our beating because there is nothing that we can do? Is there anything we can do? Can the average person be victorious against the globalists?

When I appear as a guest on many radio shows, I am frequently asked how we defeat the globalists. What do you think is the correct answer in response to the question, “How do we defeat the globalists”?

There are two primary schools of thought. First, there are some who believe that America has crossed the tipping point and we are a nation under judgment and that it is too late. There is a second group of people who believe that if we can wake up enough people, it is possible to defeat the satanic globalists and take back our country and our planet.

I believe that there is a third position to consider in which we wake up the masses in time to save their soul. The 80 years, or so, we spend on this planet does not compare with the eternity that our souls are designed to exist. Events in this country and on this planet are about to get so bad that I cannot find the words to describe the horror of what is coming. And although it may be too late to save America from her final fate, it is not too late for you to help save your soul and to help others in the same endeavor.

To believe that you have control over anything but your soul is naive. The ultimate goal of the globalists is not to just control your mind and body, they want it all. They do not want you and your sould  entering the Kingdom of Heaven. THEY WANT TO CONTROL AND DESTROY YOUR SOUL! This is the primary reason that Christians are under attack all across the country and why anti-Christian doctrine and beliefs are being glorified in every fabric of our lives!

Our Goals Need to Be More Realistic

Hosea 4:6 states that ” my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…”  The primary goal of our movement should be to awaken as many people as possible in order to save their souls. Yes, we can still alert people as to the physical dangers so they can avoid them. However, avoidance of the totality of the coming calamity will be short-lived.

In Revelations 9:18 John writes “A third of mankind was killed by these three plagues, by the fire, smoke and brimstone…” Together, these elements will be responsible for the largest death toll in all of human history.  And just when you think that it cannot get any worse, John further writes “In 9:16, John states, “The number of the armies of the horsemen was two hundred million; I heard the number of them.” It is worth noting that the massive army of 200 million is often thought to be a reference to China. Although this may be possible, it is more likely that this army is not human, but demonic.


Again, I do not have the words to describe how bad things are going to become. Therefore, we need to be involved in a movement that awakens people to the unfolding dangers, but we need to keep our eye on the ball. We need to be focused on saving souls, through enlightenment, and not be solely focused on how to combat Peter Sutherland and Goldman Sachs as a primary goal of our resistance. The fundamental question of the Patriot Movement should be  “Do you only want to live for 80 years, or do you want to live in bliss for eternity”? The satanically inspired globalists cannot control the spiritual battleground, we do!

How Do We Awaken Humanity That Their Eternal Existence Is Being Robbed From Them?

There are exceptional people out there who are capable of starting epidemics. All you have to do is find them.” ― Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference


We need to begin a social epidemic designed to awaken the masses to the spiritual dangers that we face which will result in our eternal damnation. To this end, Malcom Gladwell states, “The success of any kind of social epidemic is heavily dependent on the involvement of people with a particular and rare set of social gifts.” According to Gladwell, economists call this the 80/20 Principle, which is the idea that in any situation roughly 80% of the work will be done by 20% of the participants. These exceptional people are capable of starting epidemics. Those of you who are reading my words, and are awake, you are in the 20%. It is time to roll up your sleeves and get to work.

There is clearly a war for the control of our minds as a precursor to the destruction of our soul. The globalists have successfully seduced the bulk of humanity into becoming little more than sheep who believe the lies put forth by the mainstream media. In an interview I conducted with Jim Marrs, I asked him how we could best counter  the power that the globalists have over the people in our country, Jim answered “Turn the TV off”.


Any organizing principle of war states that you must first neutralize the command and control structure over the enemy. This is why, whenever we invade a country, we first take out their radar and communications ability. This is one of the approaches that we need to employ in neutralizing the hold the globalists have over our minds. To do that, we only need to follow Marrs’ advice and turn off the TV. Collapse the major instrument of control that our enemies employ against us, namely, the control over our minds through the mainstream media.

If CNN and FOX were to disappear, we would stop being conditioned on what to think and begin thinking for ourselves. Subsequently, the veil of deception would be removed from over our eyes. The sheep would lose their media based shepherd and the sheep would be forced to find their own way in life. The resulting paradigm could lead to a global awakening and, other than the return of Jesus, this would constitute the worst nightmare for the globalists.


Winning the Numbers War

Throughout my academic career, I have immersed myself in discovering how change occurs. Why do some movements take hold and win the day, while others die on the vine? The answer, coming from the field of social psychology, is surprisingly simple.


Scientists from the prestigious Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute have determined that if just 10% of any given population holds to an unshakable idea, that the idea will become adopted by the majority of the country. However, the scientists who belong to the Social Cognitive Networks Academic Research Center (SCNARC) found that if the ideas are shared by less than 10% of the population, the idea will not progress and will eventually die out. The research was first published in a peer reviewed E Journal in an article entitled “Social consensus through the influence of committed minorities.”


Computational and analytical methods were used to discover the tipping point where an obscure idea eventually becomes the majority opinion. The finding has dramatic implications for those of us trying to wake up the sheep in this country.

The SNARC scientists found that the 10% figure was applicable whether they were talking about the spread of innovations or to advance an ideal.

Reaching 10% of the population should be the objective of the alternative media and the primary goal should be the preservation of the soul and not to be quite as focused on achieving physical victory in this realm of existence.

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If most of you out there are anything like me, then you’ve asked yourself what the purpose of your existence is.

Why are we here?

Am I here just to undergo suffering? Continually and without end? Because that’s what life often seems like, doesn’t it? Suffering interspersed with occasional oases of relief.  It just seems sometimes that life is misery upon misery.

You make plans. Plans come to naught.

You have desires. Desires are seldom fulfilled.

It can appear that life is nothing but a big rat race with no purpose.

But then a thought occurred to me:

What if this life is like an interview process for a job – your dream job. Let’s say it’s a job that your life depends on getting.

And during this interview process you have to display certain skills that are absolutely required for you to get that job (that LIFE).

I like to think of it like this: in elite military training, they might take a soldier, put him in a shallow trench, and then shoot live rounds over his head, blow up grenades all around him while having other soldiers shouting and screaming in an effort to model live battle conditions. Pandemonium.

And that soldier – his task during this test is to take apart and reassemble a rifle, let’s say. Something he needs to know how to do in case it jams.

It’s no stretch to say that his life in battle depends upon him successfully completing that task because, in a live battle, well, if your gun jams, then of course you’d better unjam it or your goose is cooked. You have to get that thing to fire again or else you’re gonna die. Your life depends on the completion of that task. In that moment, that task is the most important thing in your world.

So that’s what I’m talking about, only, in my case it’s not taking apart and reassembling a rifle.

My task seems to be learning to control my own mind, asserting dominance over my wayward thoughts and controlling them so that I’m the captain of this dilapidated and listing ship, NOT my monkey mind, so that I become the person I choose to be, that I intend to be. So that I don’t let my ego, my monkey mind, keep running me in circles and making a fool of me.

So instead of a soldier in a trench assembling a rifle, my purpose is to assert control over my own thoughts and attitudes. Not an easy thing, mind you. God has thrown us all into this world of chaos, hardship and distraction… everything that pulls you away from mindfulness, everything that distracts you from remembering your central task, even. He has thrown us into the boot camp of life.

What I need to do is to learn how to take every thought captive – 2 Corinthians 10:5. Remember, even thoughts can be sins, as Jesus himself taught.

If you’re married and you lust after another, Christ said that you have already committed adultery in your heart.

Or, if someone makes you angry and you have thoughts of murder, then you are counted as a murderer by God. It’s easy to see how we are all sinners – not one of us is innocent.

I’m not saying that my task here, the expectations upon me, are to stop sin completely – I don’t believe that’s humanly possible because we’re in a fallen state. But we do have to learn to complete our given tasks with a certain degree of competency, just like that soldier in the trench, or else we don’t survive. We don’t pass this test.

We are all that soldier in the trench.

soldierFor me, the job I’m trying to get? I want a place in God’s Kingdom.

I wanna enter into it. Simple as that.

If I enter it at the lowest level – so be it. That’s fine. I just wanna make the cut and get in.

If I end up being a janitor in heaven and my job is to clean the solid gold toilet bowls, then I’m a happy camper, because I’ve made it into the Kingdom. That’s enough for me. Besides, I’ve done that job here on earth, so how much more so would I be willing to humble myself and do it there?

The difference between entering the Kingdom at that lowest level and not making the cut at all is an immeasurable gulf. That’s the cause for feeling great relief upon making the cut, even at that lowest level (or perhaps, especially at the lowest level, due to how close one came to failure).

Sometimes this task that’s before us seems Herculean. Impossible. I often have doubts I can accomplish it at all.

There’s a mountain of failures behind me, and yet I pick up my staff and I try again.

And, inevitably, I fail again.

I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our most melancholy propensities; for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw down, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?  – Voltaire, Candide

My greatest challenges are the classic vices: anger, judgement, envy, hate… The negative emotions. They plague me like the trots on a Carnival cruise.

Fortunately pride is no longer among them – God stamped that out of me a long time ago, and I thank him for it.

Those habitual ruts, like the ones deer run along, they’ve become worn from too much repetition. Those ruts in my mind are so worn that, if it were a deer run and I was mountain biking over them, the depth of their cut wouldn’t allow the front tire of the bike to escape them. It is nearly impossible to strike out onto a NEW path.

But it’s gotta start somewhere.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and at the beginning, that one step seems hopelessly insufficient, and yet, that’s where it begins. And if we don’t begin, we can never finish.

You begin a process that’s very long and strenuous, but it has to start somewhere. Better that we are born into complete forgetfulness and ignorance – we don’t realize yet that we are taking but the first insignificant steps on a long and horribly difficult journey. And so we all begin.

It seems there’s not enough time in a life to accomplish enough of our tasks to make the cut, to “land the job” so to speak. Yet God has put those tasks before us.

And we have to pick up that baton and join that race.

That’s where we find ourselves.

We wake up on that battlefield, in that damn trench, and we have a disassembled rifle in front of us with bullets whizzing by overhead, bombs exploding, and people shouting and screaming orders at us.

It’s quite a place to find yourself, this world. It really is.

But God expects a lot, you know? He gave a lot, and he expects a lot. He deserves to – he earned it.

Would you want something where no expectations were levied against the granting of whatever it was you desired?

Would you want a job that didn’t require anything of you? What kind of accomplishment is that? Why would you want to be part of an organization like that? Anyone could become part of that.

No – you want to be a part of something that expects the best, something with integrity, something that isn’t messing around.

God isn’t messing around either.


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